Drenched. . .

This past weekend I went to camp with the great group of kids in this picture. We had to take the picture indoors because it was pouring down rain outside as we prepared for departure. Then, we traveled by van to a nearby town where, in the still-pouring rain, we moved ourselves and our stuff to their bus so we could travel together.

After driving for a bit over an hour, we arrived at camp where it was still raining. We checked in, carried our stuff through the pouring rain to our cabins, considered if we were dry enough to go on without changing, and headed back to the gathering spot for opening worship and fun and games.

It was FUN! And as the rain continued to fall through the evening, the night and the morning, we continued to have fun. By early afternoon we had stopped noticing that it was raining and that we were wet. The rain ceased to be a factor in the experience.

I've been musing about why the kids were so mellow about the rain. I'm sure the counselors were sick of the rain, but they never mentioned it except to point out that a place might be slick, or that a camper should put on a jacket. Our counselors just kept on showing love and joy and patience and kindness and peace and goodness to the campers. The rain simply wasn't a factor.

What if, when the young people of our church came through our doors, they were so immersed in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and goodness that the stress and the pain of ordinary life stopped being a factor? What if everyone spoke to them kindly and respectfully as if they were peers? How would they respond? How would they treat others?

I can't predict with absolute certainty but I can report that on our travels back from camp we had no bickering, no complaining, and lots of happy singing and laughter. When asked if they wanted to go back another time there was a unanimous YES! And when they got off the van there were lots and lots of hugs.

This might just work on adults as well; after all, who doesn't like to be treated with respect and to have love and kindness poured out on them? It might take a bit more time for the grown-ups. They have a lot more defenses to wash off before the love can get through, but love is pretty strong!

I wonder where I can get a barrel of this stuff . . .

We are Easter "Peep-le"

My older daughter, while in seminary, had the privilege of celebrating Passover with the family for whom she worked. As she shared her reflections on this ancient tradition, I couldn't help but wish that our Easter traditions were more about religious remembrance, and less about bonnets and bunnies. Yet, when I think back over the dozens of Easter celebrations of my life, I cannot do so without a smile. Joy is the order of the day on Easter and new life can be celebrated in so many ways. The trees and the wildflowers have burst into bloom, the birds are in a frenzy of nesting and mating, singing their hearts out as spring blows away the bleak and cold of the winter months. People too are coming out of homes where they have been sheltered for months, eager to open themselves to some warm sunshine, and it seems, to one another. The return of spring each year is a profound experience of resurrection, worthy of celebration.

There will be plenty of solemnity this week, especially on Friday, but the joy cannot be repressed. And the joy is the part of Easter that the children best understand. The children feel it on a primal level. The stirring of new life makes them almost giddy as the days grow longer and color bursts upon the earth. They may not understand death, but they understand life at its fullest, which may be the truest way to understand resurrection.

Several years ago a young pastor introduced the Easter Vigil to our congregation, and it seemed almost shocking to celebrate Easter late at night with fire and drums and remembrances of Old Testament stories we don't normally associate with Jesus and Easter. The service ends with a burst of light and noise and is soon followed by the popping of champagne corks and indulging in chocolate after the fast. It is a profoundly joyful experience - not to be missed if the opportunity presents itself.

In the face of all this, our most abiding family Easter tradition seems tacky and silly, yet the annual ritual never fails to bring smiles. I guess it can best be described as "blowing up the peeps." Take those little marshmallow confections, put them on a paper plate in the microwave, and heat them on high. Like marshmallows at a campfire, they will grow and grow and grow. And as they do they will morph into grotesque shapes that never fail to amuse the children watching. Well into college the children I have spent most Easters with continued the ritual, and the joyful laughter. 

Christ, through death and resurrection, came that we might have life, and have it abundantly. On this most profound day of our faith, let us rejoice, and share the joy with even the  youngest among us.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-hallelujah!

Some people think that faith is a really serious thing. Even in the aftermath of God's great practical joke of raising Jesus from the dead, we still intone Alleluia with a reasonable amount of gravity and decorum. Does anyone else think that the idea of greeting the news of the resurrection with a face suitably composed for the grave-side is slightly ridiculous?

Most kids, as we all know, don't hold on to the serious very long. In fact, we tend to worry when they do. Yet, at some magical point, we declare that they are old enough to "take life seriously!" If they don't, we call them free spirits. . . as if that were a bad thing. (Back to Easter again, wasn't free one of the great gifts of the resurrection?)

Some churches, I recently learned, treat the 2nd Sunday of Easter as Holy Humor Sunday. I absolutely love this idea!  I think that God, who created us with the capacity for joy and laughter, would feel our worship as we come together to laugh and rejoice. I also think this would be a fantastic experience for children.

We don't have this at my church (yet!) but I have made it my mission during the Easter season to have lots of laughter at every event with children, and to connect that laughter with the Alleluia (Ha-llelujah) of the resurrection. I don't think that this linkage will necessarily sink in on any conscious level, but I hope it will leave an Easter afterglow that will stay with them for a lifetime.

Just before Easter a friend posted this 1 minute video to Facebook. The video quality isn't that great but just listening to this baby chortle can make your day. You will hear it echo in your head, long after you watch it. 

Don't your insides feel great? There is plenty of science to back up the old cliche' about laughter being the best medicine. So why not add a dose of laughter to your family's daily routine? Let the kids lead the way - they are naturally silly and, if you aren't focused too closely on making them into serious people, you will find plenty of opportunities to laugh.

If you're not sure how to get started with this, the "Ha-Ha Game" is a great shortcut to breathless giggles. It's this simple: Say Ha, the next person says Ha-Ha; continue taking turns, adding another ha until someone cracks up completely - and then start over.  As you gain experience, you will have to work harder for the laughter, but it will be just as sweet once it arrives. Try it out! You'll have fun, and you will give your kids a great gift!

I plan to bring you more laughter as we progress through the Easter season. May the joy of the resurrection seep into all the dry places of your life and wake them to new growth.

Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed, Hallelujah!!!

The Remembering Season

How are your preparations coming along?  I don't even have to specify what preparations I'm talking about - you know I mean holiday preparations. Are you having any fun making them? I'm just checking because it is so easy to miss the fun - and, to quote a song from an old movie "but it's the laughter, we will remember, whenever we remember, the way we were." This is the season of remembering.

I was at my sister's home for Thanksgiving and all the nieces and nephews were there and we made lefse. Now making lefse is a special holiday tradition for people whose forebears came from Norway.  It's a labor intensive undertaking that yields what are essentially very thin potato tortillas. It is manna to some of us, tradition for others, and love, even to those who don't especially like it. My grandmothers and great-grandmothers (well 3 of them anyway) made lefse, and my mother is passing on the tradition to the next generation. It's messy and time-consuming and involves a lot of work and, especially when there are beginners, laughter. For the cousins, seven of them, and one recently added spouse, it was a great way to be together. They haven't grown up near each other so gatherings can be a bit awkward. Tackling this project was a way to pool their talents and splash around in the laughter. They will remember this day.

The next day, some of us filled up a couple of cars and visited the farms where my parents grew up. And we visited the churches and the graves. We felt sadness as we missed those no longer with us - but joy at all the wonderful memories. I have to say, on the whole, that it was fun to ramble through the memories. And new memories were being generated even as we waded through the old ones:  the startling sight of a llama among the sheep, the fight over the check at the restaurant, the wind, the Starbucks. There will be laughter from this day to remember as well.

This is the remembering season. Take time to share your memories with your kids and to make some new ones. Play some cards, sing some songs, and visit some relatives. Your kids won't remember most of the gifts they get this Christmas, but they will remember your stories and traditions and what made them laugh.  Find the time, and the laughter – it will add joy to your season.

The Serving Season

Serving food, serving drinks, serving the hungry in soup kitchens, and serving our neighbors are regular hallmarks of the "extreme season." All around the church and community people are lining up volunteers and asking for donations of money,  gift cards, time, and patience. At home, this may begin to take a toll if your heart is bigger than your available hours or dollars. I remember a lot of years where I was just plain mad all through the holidays because I felt like a failure on every front - everyone needed more from me than I had to give. I used to think this was because I was a single parent on a tight budget but I have since learned that almost everyone feels this way at some point during the holidays. Here are a few things I figured out along the way:

• Start by deciding how much money you will give ahead of time and then, as a family, DECIDE where you'll give it. Some families pick one thing and stick with it year after year but others like to mix it up and give to a lot of places. Your family members may not all agree so you may have to divide the budgeted funds between several causes. That discussion will be almost as rewarding as the giving. Depending on the ages and temperaments of your children there may be spirited debates over the merits of buying dog food for the animal shelter or toys for children whose parents are in prison. People may get passionate but that's OK - it's for a good cause!
• Choose ONE actual hands on service project. Giving money is very helpful to recipients but less valuable to your children who really won't fully grasp the giving of money until they have earned some themselves. If your children are very small, substitute for a Meals-On-Wheels driver and take them along. Take older kids to wrap gifts at Blue Santa, help an elderly neighbor put up a tree or some lights, or serve dinner  at a soup kitchen. Wherever you serve, serve together.
• Find a way to participate at church. Welcome guests, make cookies for the choir members who will sing multiple services on Christmas Eve, help carry all those poinsettias into the church - or offer to deliver them to shut-ins after the Christmas Day services. Check to see if someone could use a ride to church. Sing in the choir or play in the orchestra. Even offer to stay and lock up the building after the last service! Take some of your baking to a family who has had health issues or recently lost a loved one. Serving at church helps reinforce for your kids that it's really all about THE BABY.
• Don't do things you, or your family, resent. If traveling to see relatives is more chore than joy - stay home! Go another time when you can enjoy it more.  Hate sending Christmas cards but want to stay in touch? Send a New Year's letter or a valentine or write a generic letter that can be sent with birthday cards.

I think it's easy to feel like you're in a rubber raft about to go over a waterfall as the holidays approach but try not to lose sight of the countless blessings in your life and the baby in the manger.  Holding those things at the center can help you float a little more gently down the holiday river.

The Extreme Season

Not everything your child learns is taught.  Much of what they learn is absorbed through their environment.  We say it all the time - they are just little sponges!  They soak up everything, good and bad alike.  I bring this up now because we are about to enter the "extreme" season.

What we idealize as the season of love and joy can often be absorbed very differently by our children.  For pre-schoolers it is the time of year when they are left with a babysitter more often, when they are told not to touch more often, when nap times and play times and mealtimes and bedtimes become erratic.  Elementary-aged kids will be out of school, with no homework.   Their schedule will be disrupted and they will see less of their friends.  They may watch more television and get inundated with advertising, creating wants they didn't know they had.  High school kids are similarly disrupted and may be saddled with errands, chores, or care of younger siblings.  They may find you expecting them to be adults.  Your college kids are coming home to find that their friends have changed, their favorite hang-out has been redecorated, and a younger sibling has moved into their room.  They may be longing to tell you all about their life away from home but find you too tired to listen at 11pm, when they want to talk.

I will state the obvious here: As you approach the extreme season, begin with the end in mind.  As with all things related to your children, you have to figure out what your desired outcome is.  When Christmas comes again I want my children to remember ___________.

I wanted my kids to have church and the baby Jesus at the center of their memories.  I wanted them to learn the joy of giving. And I was even clearer about what I didn't want them to remember: visits to a fake Santa at the mall, enough consumer goods to fill a yacht, disappointment because they didn't get this year's "must have" toy.  Those desires ordered our days leading up to Christmas.  (It was still never as calm and loving and gentle as my dreams but that probably has something to do with my overall approach to life, which is usually loving - but rarely calm or gentle.)

Before the extreme season sets in, take a little time and look over your master plan through the eyes of your children.  Like getting down on the floor and looking at things from your baby's perspective, you might be startled at what you will discover.  Sit down with your children, physically or electronically, and ask them what their favorite Christmas traditions and memories are. Listen, really listen, and then 'ponder these things in your heart' like a certain Christmas mother.  You might even be able to upgrade the season from "extreme" to joyful!

Hand-me-downs

This Sunday my eldest daughter will be ordained as a pastor of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.  It has been a long time coming. . . about 20 years since she first announced her intentions back in second grade.  She certainly had other aspirations over the years but God never really let loose of her, and here we are.

On Sunday the new pastor will be vested with a red stole. Her stole was handmade by her grandmother, for her grandfather, in 1961 and was worn by him at his ordination 50 years  ago.  Her grandmother, my mother, and I recently reflected on the creation of that stole.  When my dad was ordained, I was 5 years old and my sister was 2-1/2. I asked Mom if she ever imagined, while she was embroidering that stole, that one day a child or grandchild would wear it. She reminded me that you can't even imagine grandchildren when your children are that young.  And besides,  she only had girl children then, and more than 10 years would pass before someone would ordain the first "lady pastor".

The red stole has probably been worn the fewest times of all the stoles she made for my dad. It has such specialized uses: only two Sundays each year -  Pentecost and Reformation, and at ordinations which happen at unpredictable intervals.  Still, each time that red stole is donned, something new comes to the church: the Holy Spirit appears, the Wind of Change blows, a New Energy arrives.

When a pastor puts on her stole she dons a yoke of service. That service is rendered to God in the form of service to God's people. Jesus says his "yoke is easy and his burden light," and so I hope it is for my daughter. In Jesus' day, in the best circumstances, yokes were custom made for oxen which allowed them to work very hard with little pain. I have experienced working under yokes that didn't fit well, where I worked very hard and was rubbed raw in the process, but more often, I have had the pleasure of wearing an easy yoke, work that fit me like a glove and that called to me almost every day. This is what I think Jesus is promising: hard work rendered with joy, and this is the blessing I wish for my daughter as she begins this chapter of life.

With only a few days left before she is ordained, I give thanks for the faith and work of my father and my mother, for the joy of mothering this child and her sister, for the people of this church who helped to form her, and for the work that will be accomplished by this new pastor. A lot has happened since we gathered at the font for her baptism. This Sunday we welcome her into the Lord's family in a new way, with no less joy and hope than we had the first time.

Of dogs and children and kingdoms. . .

It’s the dog days of summer and “Rex-the-Wonder-Dog” has come for his annual visit. Rex’s summer care was originally my younger daughter’s job and when she left for college I let him keep coming because he’s such a marvelous animal. Last night, he and I watched a fantastic special on PBS called Through a Dog’s Eyes. The program is about service dogs and is both fascinating and inspiring.

The creator of the film, Jennifer Arnold, clearly loves dogs, and she loves people enough to breed, train and match dogs with children and adults who need service animals. The skills the dogs can learn, and the intuition they exhibit with their owners, is phenomenal.  The publicity for the show claims it will make you see your own dog in a whole new way, and, while Rex is only my dog for a couple of weeks, after watching it, I have to acknowledge some of his more “spiritual” qualities.

First I must commend his UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Every day when I return from work I am greeted with joy. When I take the garbage out and return in 5 minutes, I get the same greeting. I feel like the most important person in the world when I walk through the door. I have done nothing to deserve this joyous welcome but he gives it unsparingly, with his whole being.

Another admirable Rex quality is a FORGIVING HEART. Yesterday I sent him away with a loud and annoyed voice as I was getting ready for work. It was clear as he departed that I had really hurt his feelings. Yet, when I emerged, clean and dressed, he greeted me as if I’d never spoken harshly to him at all.

Rex is also totally AUTHENTIC. He asks for exactly what he wants: scratching on the kitchen wall means “my bowl is empty”, scratching on the door means “I need to relieve myself” and head-butting means “Hey, I need a little attention here!” When he has been on the couch he acts guilty – truly a dog without guile.

You may be wondering what all this has to do with children or faith.  Well, children also love us unconditionally, forgive us when we fail them and are totally authentic. Studies have shown that children from even the worst possible homes still love their parents. Perhaps this is what Jesus meant when he said “whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.” (Mark 10) I think the kingdom of God is far simpler than we "mature Christians" want it to be. If children get it, then what makes it difficult must be something within us, and not part of the kingdom itself. Is it possible that we complicate things just to make ourselves more important in the equation?

Maybe what we really need to do to be the children Jesus describes is to stop looking at ourselves, and our needs, and focus on the good and gracious giver of all. When I consider everything that God has done for me,  I am overcome with wonder. And I think that’s what goes on in Rex’s mind when he looks at me: “She feeds me.  She opens that door – I love her!”  Likewise, children look at adults and are always aware of everything we can do that they can’t – “She can drive a car! She can swim! She knows when I’m getting into something I shouldn’t!” – and they love us, enough to want to be us.

Although I only get Rex for two weeks a year, and my own children are grown, I get to spend time with children nearly every day.  With their unconditional love they give me a little window into the kingdom, and I am truly blessed!  And - in case the jury is still out for you - I think that all dogs DO go to heaven!