Scheduling Faith

The following is a re-post from blogger Freddae' at Coffee, God and Me. She's a Methodist pastor and a single parent. I like the way she applies the "method" to making sure she passes on the faith to her son. Enjoy!

     The other day I sat down to update my calendars to reflect the fall schedule.  I also penciled out a general sketch of a routine for my family/home.  I represent a single

parent family with one child, so I understand this may look different for others, but trust me, I need some structure even if it's just the two of us.

     In this routine, I made sure there was ample time for: a sit down dinner, homework, free play, teeth brushing and flossing, etc.  Then it occurred to me, nowhere in this daily itinerary was there any room for prayer or devotion.  I'm a firm believer that prayer should be never-ending; it should be this constant on-going conversation we have with God where we may set the receiver down for a little while, but we know the line is always hot.  That being said, I think it's important that we make sure that in our busy lives, "time with God" has as much a line in our date books as basketball practice, cub scouts, and yoga.  

     Every morning, my son and I share a devotion together out of his book Jesus Calling. (The children's version).  Then we pray together for our day.  This takes us a solid 10 minutes to do it right and not feel like we're rushing.  At dinner, we pray over

our meal, talk about our day, and discuss a short devotional thought.  This doesn't dominate our entire mealtime, but creates a great space for personal interaction that is spiritually focused.  At the end of the day, my son takes his last 15 minutes before bed to read scripture on his own in his room.  This disconnects him from the glowing screens of the TV and games systems (which studies have proven are causes of problems with sleep) and connects him with God...all the while tiring his eyes.  He chooses which scripture he wants to read.  Then when he's done, we take a minute or two to discuss what he read, pray together, and off to sleep he goes.

     My son has entered 2nd grade this year, which I think places him at a great age to start practicing spiritual disciplines.  If we're going to be attentive to developing healthy children in terms of eating habits, exercise routines, positive self-esteem - then we also need to nurture them spiritually.  As parents, we have been commissioned with the task to raise up our children in ways that honor and glorify God.  We're not always going to be successful at this and not everything we teach will stick.  Our children have their own journey's to trek and discoveries to make.  That being said, I believe that if we instill in them moral and spiritual compasses, they'll have a strong core and center for years to come.

     In order to lead this kind of household, you must also respond with conviction to living a devotional life as well.  John Wesley, theologian and general founder of Methodism, had three simple rules: 

1.  Do all the good that you can
2.  Do no harm
3.  Tend to the ordinances of God (spiritual disciplines)

     We are called to raise up our children in ways that open them to as much beauty in this life as possible.  The disciplines teach them patience, kindness, integrity, honesty, devotion, humility, love of neighbor, peace/stillness..Ex.just to name a few.  We can't be successful with this task unless we too are seeking to live such lives. 

     So far, my son and I are on day 2, and though its been a little challenging to kick-start, it's already reaping tremendous rewards...for both a 7 year old and a 32 year old. 

    I challenge you...pencil the Holy into your family calendar and dare to see what God will do.

How does it look from where you sit?

I've discovered UpWorthy - a vlog (video blog) of positive stuff that I really appreciate. Here's a quick re-post while I'm in between homes:


'One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others' Shouldn't Have Come To Mind When I Viewed A Class Photo

I'm positive that the photographer who took the original photo wasn't an unkind person who intentionally separated a child in his class photo. But the original picture made one little boy who so clearly wanted to be a part of his class look (and maybe feel) like he was alone. And, just as bad, it sent a message to his peers that it's OK to exclude children with disabilities.

My original thought was that if all the kids just moved closer, the problem would be solved. But a friend who has a child with a disability helped me to understand that wouldn't have been a solution, either, because he'd still be separated.

Although it took a little pressure, the photography company retook the class picture, and the new one is perfect. Let's learn from this mistake. Small adjustments in our daily actions can make everyone feel included, important, and valued.

Laura Willard

Original photo:


Photo retake, with the student seated with his peers (next to his aide):


Isn't that amazing? Inclusion is a value to instill in our children. It's an act of loving kindness that reflects the loving kindness of our Great Creator and enriches life for everyone. My thanks to Laura Willard for this amazing education in two pictures!

Back in the Saddle Again

I've been distracted this summer. Looking for work, taking advantage of time off to be with friends and family, reading books I haven't had time for in a long time, and now sorting and packing. However, school has started, and I should get back to the blog but now I'm busy moving, so for the next couple of weeks I want to introduce you to some of the best blogs I read. This week I want to share the sweetest blog from one of my favorites: The Actual Pastor, Steve Wiens.

To Isaac, on Your First Day of First Grade

Dear Isaac,

Even though you insist you’ve been a first grader ever since the last day of Kindergarten, today is the day it officially begins. So on your first day of first grade, I want you to know a few things, straight from your dad:

You are brave. Remember the time that you accidentally locked mommy out of the house while the hot water was filling up in the sink to heat up your brother’s bottles? Remember how you got the chair, turned off the water, and opened the door all by yourself, even though you were only three? Even though you were crying the whole time? You did it. At school, there will be times when you have to do things even when you’re not sure how to do them, and you may feel like crying. You may even cry! And that’s okay. I want you to know that I have seen you be brave, over and over again. So even when you don’t feel brave, your daddy says that you are brave.

You are kind. You probably won’t believe this, Isaac, but I was shy in first grade. I stuttered really badly. That means it was hard for me to start talking, and even when I got started, my words got all jumbled up; they got stuck somewhere in between my mind and my mouth. It was hard for me to be confident when I started new things, like school or sports. It was especially hard when people made fun of me because I stuttered. Isaac, I’ve seen you be such a good friend to Emmaus, Cai, and especially your brothers. Would you look out for kids who stutter, or who look a little different, or who seem like they’re having a hard time making friends? Would you be kind to them? You don’t have to try really hard; just be you, and that will be enough.

There is no outside of inside. Isaac, you are in my heart, and there is nothing you will ever say, think, or do that will change that. I’m sure you will do fine at school all day, but when you get home, you might get a little cranky. Or maybe even a lot cranky. Let me tell you a secret: that’s what we all do. It’s hard out there. Home is where we can be ourselves after trying hard out there all day. We get cranky around the people who love us the most because home is where we feel safe. I want you to know that when you are with me, you are home. You are safe. You can show up how you actually are, cranky and all. I love you, end of story. And because there’s no outside of inside, even when you’re not with me, you’re still home, because you are in my heart.

There are lots of kinds of smart. Isaac, when I was a kid, I wasn’t that great at school. There were lots of kids who did better than me on tests. I wasn’t the first person to learn how to read. I still remember the lump in my throat when I didn’t do well, even though I tried hard. So let me be the one to tell you, Isaac: there are lots of kinds of smart. Some kids are really smart at numbers. Some are smart at words. Some are smart at solving problems. Some are smart at friendship. Some are smart at helping people. And some are smart at creating things, like paintings or pottery. You are smart, Isaac, and we’re going to help you figure out what kind of smart you are.

And the last one is a tough one. But here it is: My job is not to protect you from hard things, it’s to launch you out into this great big world, so that you can play your part in great Big Story. This means that sometimes, you’ll make mistakes. You might not make the team. You might try to make friends with people who reject you. When those things happen, I hope I’m the first person you want to talk to. I’ll cry with you. Isaac, this is so hard for me. I’d much rather do anything and everything to make sure you don’t fail or get hurt. But you need to fail, and even get hurt sometimes, because that’s how you’ll learn how to be a person who brings great things to this world. Only those of us who have suffered a little know how to really help.

So, Isaac, my beautiful, strong son: have a great first day of first grade. I’ll be waiting for you when you get home.

Love,

Your Daddy.

Stuff & Non-Sense

I am sifting through my belongings these days, filtering them with the question "Do I love this enough to pay to move it?" Since I don't know if or when I'll be moving, I am a bit indecisive on many things, but adamantly certain about others, and those are going out the door.

There is something in all of us that makes us as acquisitive as magpies. It starts early. Nearly every child has a security object of some sort: a beloved blanket, a particular stuffed animal, a favorite pacifier, a possession that reassures her that all is right with the world. Every parent has tales of sneaking the filthy object into the washing machine while the child sleeps, hoping to avoid the restless, tearful, anxiety-ridden hour that the lovey is out of his hands.

If only it could stop with that single object. The security blanket is an irrational selection, made without language or even much memory. It is a purely sensory choice. Stories abound of parents who have tried to have two or three of the object, just in case, only to have the newer, cleaner object rejected with scorn. Still, managing and housing that single object is a relatively simple task, but only the first of the many layers of stuff you will acquire with your children.

After the objects loved for their sensory value come the objects beloved for their familiarity. The endless list of favored place mats, particular tee-shirts, and oft-read bedtime stories occupy space in a parent's data base of things that make a child happy. As children grope for some small measure of control in a world that, from their point of view, is constantly expanding, familiar objects give them a place to focus, a way to re-orient themselves when things are constantly shifting.

At some point some object will become saturated with a particular memory and then become impossible to part with: a lucky talisman, a gift from a special someone, a piece of clothing worn on a particularly memorable occasion. These items multiply over the years and can accumulate to alarming proportions. I know from personal experience that every one of the hundred stuffed animals a couple of kids can accumulate over ten years has a back story. "I won that kitty at the school carnival in second grade. Amanda gave me that for my ninth birthday. Grandma brought that when I had the chicken pox." You might swear you've never laid eyes on the object before, but your child remembers each one individually.

Next comes the collection phase, where your child fixates on a particular item and accumulates as many variations of the item as possible. Coins, stamps, pens, bottle caps, baseball cards, the possibilities are endless. And there is such joy each time another piece of the collection is acquired that even after the child loses interest, neither you nor she is willing to get rid of the collection.

There is no sense to this attachment to stuff. There are a few special people who can hold it all in check, but most of us are drowning in our stuff. And all of this is layered upon the stuff we actually need - dishes and screwdrivers and shoes.

The effect of our stuff on our relationships is probably the place where faith intersects this question. We come into this world attached only to our mothers, and we leave it attached only to God. No possession can replace relationship. If we are followers of Jesus, we follow a leader who lived simply, unencumbered by the responsibilities of stuff. We follow a leader who lived a life rich with relationships: a deep attachment to God, a core group of close friends, and many, many casual yet caring encounters with people he healed and loved and taught. Does your stuff make sense in the context of your faith journey? Does your stuff block your child's view of your faith life? Does your stuff make sense, or is it nonsense? 

It's NOT That Complicated

I think Albert Einstein may have generated more of my favorite quotes than any other source besides Jesus. One of my very favorites is: "If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." In matters of faith, "this is most certainly true" (to quote another favorite genius, Martin Luther.) I have heard people explain very complicated ideas to children in a way that they can understand. Games, pictures, Legos, food, pets, relationships can all be used to explain things to kids. Experiential Learning - learning by doing. Did you learn anything about monopolies by playing the game? Have you ever heard someone explain architecture in terms of Jenga or Legos? Children learn by doing.

So parents, if you are having trouble explaining faith to your child, maybe you don't understand it well enough. Maybe the faith you had when you left middle school hasn't been taken out, dusted off, and test driven for a long time. So when your child parrots what he learned in Sunday School, "Let's pray about it, Ms. _______ says that God will listen to our prayers!", you may feel uncomfortable. You may not know how to respond, or you may even undermine what your child has learned. Why not simply take that worthy piece of advice, sit down with your child, and pray about it? Even if prayer is your normal habit, you may be surprised by what happens next!

As many of you know, I am in process of a job search. Last week I got a call inviting me to come in for a face-to-face interview in another state. A state where I don't know a single soul, have only driven across, and one that is different from both the Midwest and Texas where I have spent most of my life. So I reverted to the simplest formula I knew: I prayed. I told God that I was afraid. I told God that I would go if it that was the plan, but couldn't I please go somewhere where I knew someone? Guess what happened next. Yep, I crossed paths with someone. She isn't just from the state, or the metro area, or even the town. She lives two blocks from the church where I will be interviewing, and we already have many things in common. In a crowd of 6,000 people, I met the one person who was the answer to my prayers.

Dust off those most basic tools of faith and put them to use. Prayer is a good place to start because you can easily do it with your children. Give thanks, ask forgiveness, pray for people who need things, and ask God for guidance in your own life. Don't forget to pray for the pets. It will help you pass on faith to your children. Keep track of your prayers and it will help you increase your trust in God. It's really not that complicated. 

Rites of Passage

Last Sunday,  I got to stand in for a friend as her daughter Ellen had her senior pictures taken. The young woman in question is lovely, and the photographer took us to a busy street and a quiet park for two very charming sets of pictures. It struck me that even in this day and age when young people are posting or messaging or tweeting pictures of themselves nearly every day, they still find marking this particular juncture in their lives important enough so set aside time, hire a professional, and do their best to fix themselves in this moment in history.

For this young women, and most of the other young people I know, graduating from High School will not be the highest honor of their lives. Nor will getting married, the only other time most of them will pay to have their picture taken. They will have higher degrees and make important contributions to community or business or family or some other institution. Yet we and they feel it is necessary to mark this particular moment as special. I wonder why.

Is it because of the potential we see in them? They stand poised to leap in a direction yet unknown and the world is theirs for the taking. They have not started down a career path; almost the entire spectrum of possible occupations is open to them. Is it because we are getting a glimmer of what is to come: the first signs of complex thinking, talents beginning to emerge and converge in interesting ways? I have been rolling this over in my mind for several days now and have reached a somewhat un-profound conclusion:

We treasure this moment because it represents HOPE.

Hope is one of those things that keep us going. In the midst of news of increasing temperatures, crime rates, and cost-of-living and decreasing family stability, safety, and ability to predict the future, it is refreshing to gaze upon these young people and imagine what they will become. Hope that this young person, who only a year ago needed to be transported from place to place by an adult, can now begin to take care of herself, and her own needs. Hope that she can navigate to a place of joy, a place with meaningful work and relationships and dreams. Hope for the best. It makes me smile to realize that as a culture we mark the moments of greatest hope with professional photos: babies, high school seniors, brides and grooms.

Jeremiah 29:11 says: For surely I know the plans I have for you,says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope." In this rite of passage, God, the adults, and most young people are of one accord. That's a good reason to keep on marking this milestone!

MGM - Take Me Away

When my girls were younger and still spending their summers at home, we liked to pick a theme for a summer "film festival." We would would pick a theme, director, or series and watch all the movies over the course of the summer break. This morning I ran across a list of 50 movies from 50 states that sounded like a fun armchair vacation for this summer. I've already seen and enjoyed about half of these, and several of them are not family fare, but it reminded me of how much fun we had watching movies together as a family. Maybe your family can have a film festival too!

So, here's the list, in alphabetical order by state. I'm thinking of watching them as if this were a road trip, starting in Texas and heading East, West, or North. Or maybe I will put them in order according to the year they were made. Or maybe in alpha order by movie title. That's probably not important.  I'll post a note or two about each one, in case you're interested. So - here they are, courtesy of Mark Demming at Movie Talk (Yahoo):

Alabama - To Kill a Mockingbird

Alaska - Insomnia

Arizona - Raising Arizona

Arkansas - Sling Blade

California - American Graffiti

Colorado - The Shining

Connecticut - Far From Heaven

Delaware - Fight Club

Florida - Magic Mike

Georgia - Gone With the Wind

Hawaii - From Here to Eternity

Idaho - Napoleon Dynamite

Illinois - The Blues Brothers

Indiana - Hoosiers

Iowa - Field of Dreams

Kansas - Winchester 73 

Kentucky - Coal Miner's Daughter

Louisiana - Interview with the Vampire

Maine - Shawshank Redemption

Maryland - Diner

Massachusetts - The Town

Michigan - Gran Torino

Minnesota - Purple Rain 

Mississippi - Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Missouri - Waiting for Guffman

Montana - A River Runs Through It

Nebraska - Election

Nevada - Oceans Eleven

New Hampshire - What About Bob?

New Jersey - Atlantic City

New Mexico - High Noon

New York - Manhattan

North Carolina - Bull Durham

North Dakota - Fargo 

Ohio - Heathers

Oklahoma - The Outsiders 

Oregon - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Pennsylvania - Ground Hog Day

Rhode Island - Me, Myself, and  Irene

South Carolina - Glory

South Dakota - Dances with Wolves

Tennessee - Nashville

Texas - Giant

Utah - 127 Hours

Vermont - Dead Poets Society

Virginia - Donnie Darko

Washington - Singles

West Virginia - We Are Marshall

Wisconsin - Lars and the Real Girl

Wyoming - Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

My normal blogging will resume next week, though it may be heavily influenced by this endeavor!