I don't make resolutions much any more, but I usually adopt a New Year "theme" that eventually becomes a series of resolutions. So, as the old year fades away, I am contemplating themes for 2012 and I think I have settled on Living Fresh.
Children, at least before they start school, start every day fresh. Yesterday is forgotten in sleep and by morning the new day is another adventure to be lived and loved. I don't operate that way much anymore. My first thought this morning was sad, "Today's the day the kids leave." The second was fretful, "and I have to write my blog before I take them to the airport." The third was self-critical, "Oh why didn't I do that yesterday?"
That little internal conversation pretty much summarizes what's wrong with a lot of adults: we can't stay in the moment because we think we should be in control of our days. It's not true. We control very little of what happens to us. Children don't believe they control anything so they just taste, and sometimes savor, the moment. Though I gave up believing I could control things a long time ago, I never really broke the habits that I formed when I thought I was in control.
So Living Fresh is going to be my my theme for 2012. I want to greet each day like the psalmist who says "Fill us each morning with your constant love, so that we may sing and be glad all our life." Psalm 90:14 (TEV) I want to begin each day with that great sense of possibility that I had as a child. I suspect that this will require changing many habits, and really re-booting my prayer life, but I think it will increase both my joy in life and my trust in God.
It will be an experiment, but my hypothesis is that if I turn the past over to God every night, and ask to be filled with God's constant love every morning, it should change the way I approach each new day. Fresh start, every day! I want to truly live as a child, a child of God who depends on God. A child reborn in my baptism every day, just as a child greets a new world after sleep. God can certainly order my life in ways far beyond my puny powers of organization or foresight or knowledge. The experiment may fail. Perhaps my planned method is not the right one. Still, I feel certain that I can entrust this year to God. God who is the same, yesterday, today and tomorrow. I'll keep you posted.
Happy New Year! Happy Fresh Start!