Simply Summer

School is out in my part of the world and all around me I hear the sounds of adjustment: mothers on cell phones saying  "wait just one minute"  to impatient children tugging at the hem of their shorts; kids cannon-balling into pools as if this will be their only chance to swim this summer; ice cream trucks with their faux calliopes; dogs barking in ecstasy as children barrel out into back yards. It's a happy-crazy-wild time of year. 

Since my church offers several camps over the summer, I am probably in my busiest season. I certainly spend more time with kids over the summer than at any time during the year. I am astonished at how much time kids spend at camp each summer - and I feel a little sad that they don't get to have the long, lazy, boring summer days of my childhood where we went out after breakfast, often ate lunch at a picnic table in the shade of the house and played until we were called in for supper and sometimes even got to go out after until dark or mosquitoes drove us in. We went days without getting in the car - and I think of what a luxury that would be for a mom or dad these days. (In fact, when I play around with ways to create Sabbath space in my life, not driving for 24 hours is one of the exercises I do. Not driving is definitely a way of resting for those of us in cities of a certain size.)  

I know I have previously written about slowing down for summer, but I tracked down something blogger  Life as I Know It penned two summers ago, and I wanted to share her idea and the product of that idea: "Last week I unrolled a big piece of art paper on the kitchen table, armed them with markers, and told them to write down anything and everything they want to do or try or accomplish this summer. The only 'rule' was that once something gets written down on the Great Summer List of '10, then it must be done.
A lesson in brainstorming, goal setting and list making all in one."

She wrote that this was a much simpler list than she had predicted. And it contained surprises - archery and making whipped cream were completely unexpected.

In August she shared that they had just completed the last item on the list, "Go on a big sHiP" by visiting a historical ship in the Boston harbor. Then, in a post during the first week of school she said: "[D]o you know what happens when we don't give our chidlren a chance to slow down? They don't get the opportunity to find out who they really are. And isn't that the whole point? Of life? To discover who we are?"

I agree with Life as I Know It. That is the whole point - to discover who we are! When we bring our children to be baptized we trust that they are receiving the Holy Spirit, and with the Spirit, spiritual gifts. Discovering those gifts is their job, and you get to be their support staff on this project. So, what does the summer hold for you and your kids - or you and your inner child?

It might be time for a Great Summer List of '12.

Advocate

"I will send you an advocate."  An advocate is one who supports, defends, or intercedes on behalf of another. This was Jesus' promise of the Holy Spirit to the disciples. I thought about that text this week when I encountered a parent interceding on behalf of her child,  defending the child for something the child had failed to do. I believe this to be one of the things that we are called to be as parents: our children's advocates. We are to support them, defend them, and intercede on their behalf. It is holy work.

Some of us do this too often and too much. We are the helicopter parents that educators complain about. We are so much in their business that it becomes our business. We stick up for them in situations where they ought to stand up for themselves. We make excuses for them. We get involved in their disputes with other children, and try to get college professors to change their grades. This is not good advocacy.

Others of us advocate too little.  Perhaps we believe that our children need to stand on their own two feet; we believe that if they expect someone else to defend them they will be disappointed. Maybe we hate or fear conflict so much that we won't get involved, even when our own children have suffered an injustice, or when they are up against an adversary they are not equipped to handle. This is not good advocacy either.

As with most things in life, finding the right balance is not always easy. In my years as a parent I have sometimes been overly protective and sometimes not intervened as I should have. None of us will do it perfectly, but it is important to look at situations and carefully consider what our role  should be: supporter, intercessor, or defender. All three are means of advocating; which one is best?

I think Jesus sent the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, to the disciples for things outside of their own skills and abilities. I doubt that the Holy Spirit got very involved in Peter and Andrew's fishing ventures. They were competent at fishing even  before Jesus arrived on the scene. The Advocate, however, showed up on Pentecost when it was time for the disciples to come out of hiding and testify to what they had experienced. That was a big deal, a big crowd, multiple languages, lots of soldiers, lots of fear, lots of discernment and wisdom required, and in that case the Spirit supported them, gave them the words and the courage.

Maybe this is the model we parents should follow. Let our children navigate the day-to-day business of their lives and advocate for them when the big deals happen: when they face something new, when tragedy strikes, when they have a job that's bigger than their training and experience has prepared them to handle. In between we can wear some of the Spirit's other titles: Helper, Counselor, Friend, Comforter, Wisdom. In this we don't replace the Spirit, we merely imitate the spirit in our own limited and human fashion. We are, after all, created in the image of God, and the Spirit is God. The Spirit came to us, and to our children, in baptism. As we advocate for our children, know that there is one who supports, defends and intercedes on our behalf as well!

Ha-ha-ha-ha-hallelujah!

Some people think that faith is a really serious thing. Even in the aftermath of God's great practical joke of raising Jesus from the dead, we still intone Alleluia with a reasonable amount of gravity and decorum. Does anyone else think that the idea of greeting the news of the resurrection with a face suitably composed for the grave-side is slightly ridiculous?

Most kids, as we all know, don't hold on to the serious very long. In fact, we tend to worry when they do. Yet, at some magical point, we declare that they are old enough to "take life seriously!" If they don't, we call them free spirits. . . as if that were a bad thing. (Back to Easter again, wasn't free one of the great gifts of the resurrection?)

Some churches, I recently learned, treat the 2nd Sunday of Easter as Holy Humor Sunday. I absolutely love this idea!  I think that God, who created us with the capacity for joy and laughter, would feel our worship as we come together to laugh and rejoice. I also think this would be a fantastic experience for children.

We don't have this at my church (yet!) but I have made it my mission during the Easter season to have lots of laughter at every event with children, and to connect that laughter with the Alleluia (Ha-llelujah) of the resurrection. I don't think that this linkage will necessarily sink in on any conscious level, but I hope it will leave an Easter afterglow that will stay with them for a lifetime.

Just before Easter a friend posted this 1 minute video to Facebook. The video quality isn't that great but just listening to this baby chortle can make your day. You will hear it echo in your head, long after you watch it. 

Don't your insides feel great? There is plenty of science to back up the old cliche' about laughter being the best medicine. So why not add a dose of laughter to your family's daily routine? Let the kids lead the way - they are naturally silly and, if you aren't focused too closely on making them into serious people, you will find plenty of opportunities to laugh.

If you're not sure how to get started with this, the "Ha-Ha Game" is a great shortcut to breathless giggles. It's this simple: Say Ha, the next person says Ha-Ha; continue taking turns, adding another ha until someone cracks up completely - and then start over.  As you gain experience, you will have to work harder for the laughter, but it will be just as sweet once it arrives. Try it out! You'll have fun, and you will give your kids a great gift!

I plan to bring you more laughter as we progress through the Easter season. May the joy of the resurrection seep into all the dry places of your life and wake them to new growth.

Christ is Risen! He is Risen Indeed, Hallelujah!!!

New wind in the sails

A primarily personal post today. . . On Sunday afternoon at 2:30 the Lutheran School of Theology in Chicago will graduate the class of 2011.  A wonderful group of idealistic, hopeful, well-trained, savvy and mostly young people will move into place as leaders of this ship we call church.  As the mother of one of these graduates I feel a prickle of pride and I share her joy in the completion of the task.  As a person who devotes most of her workweek to the maintenance of this ship I am thrilled to see this fresh wind filling the sails of our vessel.  I praise God for their energy and hope.

I will be leaving for Chicago momentarily but wanted to offer my thanks to everyone who has supported my daughter or her classmates on this journey - whether with prayers, encouragement, or funding. In doing so you have supported the good ship 'Body of Christ', and perhaps lived out your own vocation.

The spirit is blowing new wind. . .

Raining Mercy

I arrived at work in the gentlest of rain showers this morning; it was wetter than mist but just barely rain. Both air and water were warm and I could have cheerfully stayed out in it until I was soaked. It was fitting weather for my mental meanderings about mercy.

I was thinking about the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10) because it's the lesson for this Sunday. Usually, when I think or talk about this lesson, I go straight to the "who is my neighbor?" question. This time, for some reason, what jumped out at me was the answer to that question, which is, "the one who showed him mercy". So, I got to thinking about mercy.

One of the first things to pop into my head was Portia's monologue from Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice . It's a lovely passage, memorized by earnest 8th graders all over America in my day. Remember the bard's great words? "The quality of mercy is not strain'd, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes."

So, in the rain this morning I found myself again thinking about mercy. I understood mercy so well as a child! Life was consistent for me and I knew the rules and the consequences and so when I was spared a deserved consequence I recognized mercy. In those situations mercy looked a lot like forgiveness or grace. Other times, it was a peer helping me bridge the gap of being the new kid - offering me a place at the lunch table or supplying an introduction to a teacher or student. In those situations, mercy was closer to kindness. In both cases though, the forgiveness or the kindness, mercy was not asked for by me nor coerced from the giver.

In the Good Samaritan story we are told that the Samaritan was moved by pity. I think that's why a parent revokes a well-deserved punishment or a child befriends a new kid at school - they are moved. Maybe pity isn't the best word. Other translations and paraphrases of the story say things like "his heart went out to him" or "he had compassion". That fits closer with my own experience and understanding of mercy but I really want to hang on to the idea that we are MOVED to be merciful. I think that is why it blesses us to show mercy - that impulse is a small encounter with God.

And then here's the part that could keep me standing outside in the rain for a long time - as soon as I start TRYING to be merciful I don't think that what I give will be mercy. It might be forgiveness, and it might be kindness, but it won't be mercy. I'm pretty sure I can only do mercy when God is working through me.

So mercy falls as gentle rain from heaven; may we be moved to mercy often. And if the spirit moves you - go out and play in the rain with some kids!